Best Jokes This Week
Tim, Tom, and Teddy were all lost in the forest, each of them had 25 cents to survive. They walked around for hours, and had no luck.
So Tim suggested that they split up and meet up at that same spot in an hour, they all agreed and set out on their separate ways.
While walking Tim came across a dick sucking machine, that cost 25 to use, and he says, "Wow! Haven't got my dick sucked in a while! Why not!" So he puts in his quarter, gets his dick sucked and continues on his way.
Then while Tom was walking he comes across it as well, he realized they only had 10 minutes until they were to all meet up again, so he says "Well I haven't got my dick sucked in a while, why not?" so he puts in his quarter and gets his dick sucked, after gathering himself he realizes he needed to hurry back , he gets there and Tom and Teddy are waiting for him.
"Where were you?" asked Teddy.
"Lost track of time." Said Tom
"Well does everyone have their quarters?" Asks Teddy.
They all share a look. "Well?" asks Teddy.
"I lost mine!" Said Tim and Tom at the same time.
Teddy then smiles and pulls out 3 quarters.
Pick Up Line
Guy: "Did you know that 15 minutes of sex burns off the calories gained by eating one chocolate?"
*hands girl box of chocolates*
Girl: "Awww, interesting, but why give me the entire box?
Guy: "Eat the whole thing - I have plans for you tonight"
Little Johnny was learning about government at school so his teacher told him to ask they're parents what the government is. Little Johnny asked his dad what the government was and his dad said that there is the president, congress, work force, people and the future. He explained that dad is president, mom is the congress, the maid is the work force, he is the people and his brother is the future. Johnny still didn't get it so his dad asked him to sleep and maybe by tomorrow he'll know what the government is. In the middle of the night little Johnny woke up because he heard his brother crying. He found out that he had pooed in his pants so he went to ask for help. His mom was asleep so he went downstairs to find his dad. His dad was having sex with the maid. "Now I know what the government is, the congress is asleep, the president is screwing the works force, know one cares about the people and the future is full of crap.