Best Jokes This Week
So there is this boy who has a speaking disability. One day he goes down to the bakery and asks for a bum, the person at the counter says "Don't you mean a bun?" The boy replies with yeah yeah whatever. He then decides to go down to the hardware store and asks for a f*ck it, The person at the counter says "Don't you mean a bucket?" The boy replies with yeah yeah whatever. He then goes to the pet store to get a dog, he asks for a cock and spank it, The lady at the counter replies with "Don't you mean a cocker spaniel?" He replies with yeah yeah whatever. That afternoon he loses his dog, he goes up to a random woman and says
"Can you please hold my bum and f*ck it while I go find my cock and spank it?"
Teacher: Tim, if there are ten birds and a hunter shoots one, how many are left?
Tim: None, because they all flue away.
Teacher: Not what I meant, but I like the way you think.
Tim: I have a question.
Tim: There are three women at an ice cream shop. One is biting her cone, one is licking her cone, and one is sucking her cone. Which one do you think is married?
Teacher: The one sucking the cone?
Tim: No, the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think.
4 nuns stand in line ready to confess their sins to the priest.
1st one enters..
Nun1: ''Father,forgive me for i have sinned.I seen the male thing''.
Priest: ''Say 10 Our Fathers and wash your eyes in the Holy water''.
2nd nun enters..
Nun2: ''Forgive me Father for i have sinned.I've touched male thing''.
Priest: ''Say 20 Our Fathers and wash your hand in the Holy water''.
3th nun wants to enter but 4th one pushes her and enters before her..
Nun4: ''Father!You are crazy if you think I will wash my mouth after She washes her ass in the Holy water''!!
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"