Best Jokes This Week
Anant is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Pakistani man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Anant ignores the Pakistani who, nevertheless, starts a conversation:
Pakistani: "You Americans folks eat the whole bread??"
Anant (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Pakistani: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Pakistan,
we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to America."
The Pakistani has a smirk on his face.
Anant listens in silence.
The Pakistani persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread?!?"
Anant: "Of Course."
Pakistani: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling), "We don't. In Pakistan we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to America."
Anant then asks: "Do you have sex in Pakistan?"
Pakistani: "Why of course we do", the Pakistani says with a big smirk.
Anant: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used?"
Pakistani: "We throw them away, of course."
Anant: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Pakistan
Anant was in the army. During the war with Pakistan, Anant used his
intelligence to kill many Pakistani soldiers. He would hide behind the
bushes and shout Pakistani names like - Imran Khan etc. and the soldier
named Imran Khan would get up to say 'I am here !' Then Anant would shoot him down. This went on till Anant almost wiped out all the soldiers single handedly!
Suddenly the Pakistani commander realized that Anant was killing all his soldiers by fooling them. So he decides to use Anant's own method to kill him and starts calling him names like Anant etc.
Anant realizing that the Pakistani was using his trick,
suddenly says 'Who called me ?' and the Commander gets up to say 'I called you.'
Anant shoots him also down!
Anant walked into a bar with his pet tiger on a leash and asked the bartender, 'Do you serve Pakistanis here?'. 'Sure we do,' replied the bartender. 'Good,' said the Sardar. 'Give me a beer, and one Pakistani for my tiger.'
Two guys, Anant an American, a Pakistani are out walking together one day. These 2 guys come across a lantern. When they rub it, a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give you each one wish, that's two wishes total,' says the Genie.
The Pakistani said, 'I want a wall around Pakistan, so that no neighbors or infidels can come into our Paki land.' With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Pakistan.
'Hmmmm', the American asks, 'I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds Pakistan. Nothing can get in or out.'
So the Anant says, 'Fill it up with water till top.'
The Pakistani Air Force recently purchased a fleet of American fighter jets. They invited over a Anant - a American expert and at a gathering, the Anant says to the Pakis, 'These planes are so simple, even you fools can use them'.
The chief of the air force asks how it's all done. The Anant says, 'OK. So easy! Press this button to go right. This button to go left, and this button to go up!'
The Paki Air Force Chief then asks, 'So, how do you come down?'
The Anant replies, 'Oh, leave that to the Indian Air Force!'
A Pakistani guy, anant, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.
The old woman, beautiful girl and the Indian guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Pakistani guy is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The old woman is thinking: That Pakistani guy must have tried to kiss that girl and got slapped.
The Pakistani guy is thinking: "Damn it, that Indian guy must have tried to kiss the beautiful girl, she thought it was me and slapped me instead."
The beautiful girl is thinking: "That Pakistani guy must have moved to kiss me, but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."
Anant smiling inside: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Pakistani guy again."
A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Washington DC found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any.
And eventually couldn't control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to relieve himself.
Once he had just started, a police official Anant approached him. Police : Hey, What do you think you're doing here?
Pakistani tourist: Sorry I have to "P". Anant : No PP here okay? Follow me...
Anant took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Anant: PP here.. have a nice day.
Pakistani tourist: Oh sir... that is very nice of you, is this American courtesy? Anant: No... this is Pakistani Embassy !!
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
Anant goes into confessional, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven."
Anant said, "Last night my girlfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times."
The priest thought long and hard and then said, "Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice."
Anant asked, "Will this cleanse me of my sins?"
The Priest said "No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face."