Best Jokes This Week
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still f*cking!"
One Liner Joke
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says,
‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’
The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘yAH, YOU ARE RIGHT ! You know? Your wife IS better.’
Pick Up Line
"Mommy, tomorrow I have an oral exam, and one question the teacher will ask me is 'who made you?' What should I say?" asked John.
"God made you, dear," replied his mother.
The next day, when the question came up, poor John forgot what his mother had said. So, he explained, "Teacher, until yesterday I was sure it was my Daddy who made me, but then Mommy said it was someone else... and I can't remember the guy's name."
One Liner Joke
Name? Abdul Aziz from Pakistan.
. Sex? Three to five times a day. No, no...I mean male or female? Yes, male, female, sometimes camel. Holy cow! Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general. But isn't that hostile? Horse style, doggy style, any style! Oh dear! No, no! Deer run too fast...
Me texting my friend
Me:Why r u sad Friend:My gf left me 2 days ago
Me:Why? u could not satisfy her sexully with ur small pinus
Friend:How would u know that. Are u a stalker
Me:Nope.Last night when i was pumping her up with my dick she acted like she has never seen one
In private beer party, one kid was disturbing group by asking all silly questions. Everyone wss getting annoyed. One mexican from group told others - Dont worry. I will manage him.
He took him in one corner for 5 minutes, later on kid didn't bothered them at all infact he didn't came out of room.
Everyone asked mexican how he managed.
Mexican said- not to worry. He won't disturb us now.
I taught him, how to do mastrubation.