Best Jokes This Week
Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem?
Me: The problem is you and the answer/solution is for you to stay out of my busines.
Teacher : Where is your math homework?
Me: It commited suicide, it had too many problems.
A man arrives at a physician, the doctor asks for the problem, the man says that he has a severe back-ache, the doctor asks for the reason that caused the backache, the man explains "this morning, when i got back home from my night shift at work, i saw my wife naked in bad asleep, and there were evidence of a man's presence, so i immediately began searching for the bastard, when i looked out of window, i saw a naked man down in the alley wearing cloth, i lifted the nearest object which was the refrigerator and dropped it out in the alley and it landed on man in the alley. the reason was the lifting". the doctor were shocked and then wrote some drugs in the prescription and the first man leaves. the second man arrives at the physician. doctor asks for the problem and gets "severe back-ache" again, when asks for reason behind it, hears "this morning i woke up late and were very late for work, so i decided to wear my cloth on the way, so i ran to the alley naked and began to wear my cloth there when suddenly a heavy object was dropped on me, i guess the reason was being hit by that object."; the doctor was shocked even more, and then wrote some drugs for him. the third man enters and complains about same problem "severe back-ache", the doctor which was shocked to the very existence, sarcastically told the man "did u lift a refrigerator or got hit by a refrigerator?", the man replied "No, i was inside the refrigerator"
One Liner Joke
A businessman is going on a business trip but wants to get something for his wife so that she can give herself pleasure whilst he's away, so he decides to go to a sex shop. The guy didn't like the idea of his wife having sex with another man so he didn't buy a blow up doll. After looking at all the sex toys, dildos and blow up dolls, he asks the old man at the cash register if he has anything else. "Yes I do." Says the old man. He gets a wooden box out and opens it. " It looks like an ordinary dildo." Says the businessman. " No it's no ordinary dildo; watch this: Voodoo dick, the door!" The dildo starts twisting at the door, "Voodoo dick, get back in the box!" "How much does it cost?" Asks the businessman. "Sorry it's not for sale." " I'll pay you $500." "Okay" says the old man and sells the dildo.
When the wife is on her own she opens the box and says: " Voodoo dick, my pussy!" So the dildo gives her pleasure until after three orgasms gets bored, but doesn't know how to tell it to stop so she puts her clothes back on and gets in her car to drive to the hospital. She has another orgasm and the car sways, a policeman pulls her over: " Are you drunk? Asks the police officer. "No, I've got a voodoo dick stuck inside me." So the policeman says: "Voodoo dick my ass!