Best Short Jokes This Year
Pilot: The plane is about to crash! Quick, make your last call to say your last words!
Guy: Babe, I'm so sorry, I cheated on you.
Pilot: Oops, nevermind, the plane is back in control!
Guy: CRASH THE FUCKING PLANE DAMMIT.
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Dad: She's the daughter of Bill Gates
Son: Then okay
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No
Dad: He is the CEO of the world bank
Bill Gates: Then okay
Dad goes to the president of world bank
Dad: Appoint my son the CEO of your bank
Dad: He's the son-in-law of Bill Gates
President: Then okay!
This is BUSINESS.
A gay man goes to a bar, and the bouncer is explaining the dress code regulations:
BOUNCER: "That shirt has to go, you've got to lose those pants, that belt definitely has to come off, and you need to get rid of those shoes !!!"
GAY MAN: "Ohhhhh, Wonderful ... I'm dancing naked, again"
A lady goes to the doctor complaining of abdominal pains, and after many tests the doctor finally returns back to her with some results.
DOCTOR: Well, I hope you like changing diapers
WOMAN: Why, am I pregnant ???
DOCTOR: No, you have Bowel Cancer !!!
An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was near by, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I think you should try the ATM in the lobby."