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Add a word to ruin a movie:
- Batman Begins College
- The Longest Yard Sale
- Charlottes Web Cam.
View the comments to see more!
it's funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about more clever shit you could have said
DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.You little rebel, I like you.
Husband: Honey, do u smell that?
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher!
That moment when you're talking a test and you want everyone to know you're ahead so you flip the page as loud as possible.
Boy and girl: asked the teacher very important question?"can kids of our age have kids?"Teacher replied " NO Never!!"Boy said to girl :"see i told you not to worry!!!!
Got arrested at the airport last week. Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.
Election and Erection are spelled almost exactly the same. They both mean the same thing too. A dick rising to power.
What's the point in blurring out the middle finger on television? Like, oh you fooled me, what's behind that blur? An umbrella? An elephant?
If a girl ever pulls a knife out on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her woman instincts will kick in and she'll make you a sandwich.
That frustrating moment when your almost done with your cereal and the last five pieces are like, "Haha! catch me if you can"
When I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday she said 'Just gimme something with diamonds.' That's why I got her a pack of cards.
Women can walk around all day long in a bikini, but God forbid if you see them in their bras and panties.
What's the difference between a woman's argument and a knife?The knife has a point.
Me: should I get into trouble for something I didn't do?Teacher: NoMe: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Wifi went down for five minutes, so i had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.
I was just sitting around, doing nothing, when I was arrested for impersonating the President of the United States.
Imagine if your fridge did what you do to it everyday. Every half hour it goes to your room opens the door, and stares at you for 5 minutes then leaves.
If I was a judge, Instead of shouting "ORDER IN THE COURT!" I would say "STOP... HAMMER TIME!" Then proceed to gavel out the freshest beat in the history of the judicial system.