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One day on a plane there were 100 bricks and one fell off. How many are left? 99What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. put the giraffe in 3.close the fridgeWhat are the 4 steps to putting a rhino in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. take out the giraffe 3. put the rhino in. 4. close the fridge.The animals were throwing a party and all the animals but one came. What was it? The rhinoA girl crossed a low bridge over crocodile infested water, but didn't die. Why? The crocodiles were at the party.When she got to the other side she died though. Why?A brick fell from a plane and hit her on the head
Elephant asks a camel:''why do you have two boobs on your back?"Camel says to Elephant:"Thats a funny question from someone with a dick on his face."Elephant:"..."
What Did The Buffalo Say To His Son When He Left For College? Bison.
Guy: what mouse walks on two legs?guy #2: IDKguy: mickey mouse, what duck walks on two legs?guy #2: donald duck!guy: all ducks dumbass
You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
Animal Facts 1. Hippo milk is pink. 2. If you put alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death. 3. Vampire bats are one of few mammals that will adopt an orphan our risk its own life to give food to a less fortunate roostmate. 4. Squirrels forget where they hide over half of their nuts. 5. Kittens sleep so much because they only release a special growth hormone while they sleep. 6. It is impossible for pigs to look up at the sky. 7. Sheep can survive two weeks buried in a snow drift. 8. A four foot long walrus penis bone sold for $8000 on ebay in 2007. 9. A whale penis is called a dork. 10. Elephants weigh less than a Blue Whale's tongue.
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?You :To get to the idiots house.You : Knock, knockThem: Who's there?You: The chicken
What is the cheapest meat you can buy? Deer balls. There under a buck.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minutefor me to get hard I just got laid by a chick
What sound does a horny toad make? RUB IT, RUB IT
If I was a dog, and you was a flower, I'd lift up my legs, and give you a shower.
You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
what did the squirrel say to the prostitute when he saw the police?quick grab my nuts !
dog owner: max i am sick of you shitting all over the lawnMax the dog: well i don't complain when you take shits in my water bowl
Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know that he's been screwing chickens.
How do elephants hide in the jungle?Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries!What's the loudest noise in the jungle?Monkeys eating cherries...
A dog breeder bred a bulldog and shitzo. He called it a bullshit.
Why do squirrels swim on their back? To keep their nuts dry
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him. That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Why did the duck go to jail? It was selling quack.
Why did the duck cross the road?to prove he was no chicken
Man: i don't know what is wrong with my dog he was fine yesterday!Vet: its okay i'll pick him up and take a lookVet: hmmm i'm going to have to put him down.Men: What! Why?Vet: Because he's really f*cking heavy.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Q:Why don't bunnies make noise while they are mating?A: Because they have cotton balls.