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A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes...
When I get a dog I'm going to name him five miles so I can say I walk five miles everyday.
What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor?
How do we know the earth isn't flat?If it were flat, cats would have already pushed everything off of it.
You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
I don't buy fat free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body issues.
An animal has three legs. Dance, said the lion.I'll rape you tonight, said the whale.