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A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. My dogs don't even own bikes...
When I get a dog I'm going to name him five miles so I can say I walk five miles everyday.
How do we know the earth isn't flat?If it were flat, cats would have already pushed everything off of it.
What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor?
You shouldn't be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
I don't buy fat free milk because I don't want to contribute to cows having body issues.
An animal has three legs. Dance, said the lion.I'll rape you tonight, said the whale.