Best New Jokes
Chuck Norris Joke
Yo Momma Joke
One day, Father Cunningham was hearing confessions when he was suddenly overcome with an immediate urge to have a bowel movement.
He opened the confessional door a crack, hoping to see another priest that could cover for him. Unfortunately, no priest was in sight, but O’Malley, the janitor was there mopping the floor. Cunningham pssst, pssst, psssted, until he got O’Malley’s attention, and waved him over to the confessional.
Cunningham then confided to O’Malley his predicament, and implored O’Malley to cover for him, for “just a few minutes.”
O’Malley protested, claiming that he wouldn’t even have a clue as to what may be an appropriate penance for the confessions he might hear.
Cunningham said, (with due urgency) “just tell them to pray five “Hail Marys” and five “Our Fathers”.
So, reluctantly, O’Malley assumes Cunninghams role in the confessional, and the first sinner confesses that she had performed oral sex on the her best friend’s husband.
O’Malley, absolutely astounded at what he was hearing thinks to himself, "five “Hail Marys” and five “Our Fathers””that’s not proper penance for a sin of this depravity, so he opens the door of the confessional, hoping to see Cunningham on his way back.
Cunningham is nowhere to be seen, but O’Malley does spot Tommy, the altar boy, and beckons him over.
“Tommy”, he whispers, “What does Cunningham usually give for a blowjob?”
“A bag of chips and a Coke!” says Tommy