Best Jokes of the Month
Q: There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
Q: What are the three steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?
A: Open door, put elephant in, close door.
Q: What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge?
A: Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Q: The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it, and why?
A: Giraffe. He's stuck in a fridge.
Q: Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There's no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
A: The alligators are all at a birthday party.
Q: Sally dies anyways. Why?
A: She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Dad: She's the daughter of Bill Gates
Son: Then okay
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son
Bill Gates: No
Dad: He is the CEO of the world bank
Bill Gates: Then okay
Dad goes to the president of world bank
Dad: Appoint my son the CEO of your bank
Dad: He's the son-in-law of Bill Gates
President: Then okay!
This is BUSINESS.
A gorilla dies of old age at a zoo right before the zoo opens. It is the only gorilla at the zoo since they are not very profitable.
However, the gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage for an extra $100 a day if he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one.
Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla.
About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples' attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lion's den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fük up right now or you're going to get us both fired."