Best Jokes of the Month
A black man was walking on a beach one day and saw a girl with no hands or legs crying.
He went up to her and asked why was she crying?
The girls said "Because no-one ever hugged me."
So the man hugged her and left.
The next day the same man was walking on the same beach and saw the same girl crying.
He asked her why was she crying?
She said "Becuase no-one ever kissed me."
So the man kissed her on the cheek and left.
The next day the same man was walking on the same beach and saw te same girl crying.
Again he asked her why was she crying.
She said "Becuase no-one ever f**ked me before"
So the man picked the girl up and threw her in the ocean and siad "Now you are fucked.
There's a fly above a river and there's a fish in the water. The fish says if that fly drops six inches I can get it.
There's a bear on the river bank that says if that fly drops six inches the fish will get the fly and I can get the fish.
There's a hunter about 100 yards back that says if that fly drops six inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish and I'll get the bear. Also, the hunter has crackers next to him and there's a mouse.
The mouse says if that fly drops six inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish and the hunter will get the bear and I can get the crackers up on a hill.
There's a cat that says if that fly drops six inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish the hunter will get the bear the mouse will get the crackers and I can get the mouse.
So what happens the fly drops six inches, the fish gets the fly, the bear gets the fish, the hunter gets the bear, the mouse gets the crackers, but when the cat went he tripped and fell into the river. So the moral of the story is every time a fly drops six inches a pussy is sure to get wet.
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
One Liner Joke
One Liner Joke
*I go into McDonald's and there is this fat girl making fun of this mentally disabled kid*
Me: you know, that could happen to any of us. You don't belong making fun of someone like that, what's wrong with you?
Girl: god gave me a mouth to speak and I'm going to use it
Me: well god also gave you a mouth to eat, you abused that privilege.
Me: oh and you might want to wipe that ketchup off your chin
Girl: *goes to wipe chin*
Me: no, your other chin