Best Comebacks This Year
Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!
son: sure, whatever dad.
FIVE HOURS LATER
Dad: so how was your exam?
Son: who the hell are you?!
KICKASS IF YOU GET IT
BY MARY Z JING SO MY FRIENDS WILL KNOW
Teacher: where is your homework?
Kid: at home.
Teacher: why is it at home?
Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason.
Teacher: are you being smart with me!
Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.
Friend: You wanna hangout today?
Me: I can't, I am grounded.
Friend: For what?
Me: My mom and I got in an argument, and she said, "SON OF A BITCH!" so I said, "YES, I AM A SON OF A BITCH!"
Friend: HAHAHA That's why you are my friend. xD
Bully: Hey loser your dick belongs in your pants not your personality.
Me: At least I have one.
Me: Are you talking about the one in your butt?.
Me: Nope im talking about the one in your mom.
Bully: You are as gay as your grandpas porn episodes.
Others: WOOOOOOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM.
Me: I am straighter the pole your mom dances on.
Others: WOOOOOOOW OMG DAMM THIS IS SERIOUS.
Bully: Fuck you.
Me: Just like I f*cked you and your sister in a threesome.
Others: IT NEVER ENDS.
Bully: I f*cked your mom with my peppermint stick dick after I was done with her she was shooting out peppermints.
Me: Boy the closest you will ever get to a pussy is a cat.
Others: WHEN WILL THIS EVER ENNDDDDD.
Bully: Ugly little b*tch.
Me: Im not a mirror.
Bully: Boy you are a gross ugly f*ck.
"Friend comes over."
Friend: Whats are you talking about?
Bully: Something you dont have.
Friend: Just like yourself, dick, and life.
Me: Give your ass some attention its probably jealous of all of the shit coming out your mouth.
"I walk away with pride."
Guy: Hi, my friend changed all my contact names, can you tell me who you are?
Girl: What does the contact name say
Guy: It says "Bitch".
Girl: Oh WOW... and BTW it's Andrea, your ex.
Guy: Oh, I guess my friend didn't change this one.