Best Comebacks This Year
Teacher: I'm calling your mother
Me: You can't
Teacher: Why not?
Me: Cause' she died
Me: But don't worry. When I die, I will go to heaven and tell her that!
Teacher: But what if she is in Hell?
Me: You go visit her then :)
READ THIS OUT LOUD
This is This cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is an cat
This is idiot cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is second cat
NOW READ THE THIRD WORD IN ALL THE SENTENCES.
Bully:HEY NERD WHY IS YOUR PANTS STRECHED ALL THE WAY UP YOUR BODY HAHAHAH
Nerd:why is your tampon in too far
Nerd:HA beat that!!!
Bully:checks pockets* sorry i ran out of shits to give you
Nerd:shouldnt you be checking your mouth?
Class:DANMMMM ITS GETTING INTENSE
Bully:shouldnt you be f*cking your boy friend
Nerd:no ill stick with your mom
Class:OHHH DANMMM OMG
bully:thats not possible your gay
Class:DANMMM IT WONT STOP
nerd:Im straighter than the pole your mom dances on for me
bully:dont you mean your two dads?
Nerd:no i meant your sister and mom
Class:HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY
Nerd:shouldnt you be f*cking yourselve your the one with the pussy its easier...
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Teacher: Can you see God?
Teacher: Then there isn't a God!
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Student: Can you see your brain?
Student: Ooh, okaaay, then you don't HAVE a brain!
Kid: can I have a5 million dollars mommy?
Mom: money doesn't grow on trees!
Kid: what is money made out of?
Kid: what is paper made of?
Kid:where does wood from?
Kid: see money does grow on trees!
Kid: so ... Where's my money at?????
Teacher: Since you were talking can you solve this problem?
Me: The problem is you and the answer/solution is for you to stay out of my busines.
Teacher : Where is your math homework?
Me: It commited suicide, it had too many problems.
Dad: you better pass your exam or else forget me as your father!
son: sure, whatever dad.
FIVE HOURS LATER
Dad: so how was your exam?
Son: who the hell are you?!
KICKASS IF YOU GET IT
BY MARY Z JING SO MY FRIENDS WILL KNOW
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!"