Best Comebacks This Year
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
This guy said to me, "Your belly is getting big... what are you going to do when you look down and you can't see your dick anymore?" So I said to him, "I'll tell your wife to get her head out of the way."
Teacher: I'm calling your mother
Me: You can't
Teacher: Why not?
Me: Cause' she died
Me: But don't worry. When I die, I will go to heaven and tell her that!
Teacher: But what if she is in Hell?
Me: You go visit her then :)
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.