Best Comebacks This Year
An old man walks onto a bus one day. All the seats are full, so he has to stand and balance himself on his cane. The bus hits a bump and the rubber tip of his cane breaks off and he falls. Little Johnny, seated nearby, says to him, "Sir, you have to pull the rubber over the tip more carefully!" The man replies, "If your dad had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this damn bus!"
Popular girl: *talking about famous instagramer*
Me: who's that?
Popular girl: Ew do you like not have a life? *smiles back at friends*
Me:oh no, I do. I'm just not on my phone 75% of it, missing out all the important moments in life, like your boyfriend literally flirting with that girl behind you.
Popular girl: * turns around* *hits boyfriend* What the hell Bryan!?
If someone on the web replies "no one cares" to you, say-
"You care considering you took the time to click the reply button, type your response and click the post button."
and if he/she is the only one to respond, insert "the most" between "care" and "considering".