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Bully: Ha! You wear briefs instead of boxers that's so gay!*Everybody laughs*Me: Why were you looking down my pants?*Everybody's silent*Who's gay now.
A text chat:Dad: You are the best son I could ever ask forMe: You're the best parent I could ask forDad: Woops that was meant for your brotherMe: Woops, that was meant for your wife
Ex Girlfriend: You'll never find someone like meMe: That's the point
Me: Siri, why am I still single?Siri: *Opens front camera*Me: *crying intensifies*
Patient: The problem is that obesity runs in our familyDoctor: No, the problem is that no one runs in your family
Mad Person: KILL YOURSELF!Smart guy: If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQMad Person: ...................................
Bully: Bitch!Girl: Call me a Bitch again I dare you!Bully: Bitch!Girl: That's right Bitches do what there told...
"Your so cute when your mad" "yeah well I'm about to get really f*cking adorable"
BULLY: I feel so sorry for you, Loser !!!NERD: Well at least somebody cares ... pity we can't say the same for you !!!(SILENCE)
Wife: What's that beeping?" Me: "That's my seat belt alarm." Wife: "How can you ignore something so annoying?" Me: "Huh?"
BULLY: You look so gay, in those clothes !!!NERD: So you'd like me better, without these clothes on? How gay is that?<<>>
Ugly bully: You're the reason condoms existKid: You're the reason plastic surgery exists
Their may be no "I" in "Team", but there sure is a "U" in "Douche".
why did the chicken cross the road?To get to the idiots house.Knock KnockYou:Whos thereThe chicken.
Dear haters,I can't help noticing that awesome ends with me, and ugly starts with u.
Ex: You need me b*tch.Girl: Are You Air?Ex: Tf No.Girl: Are you Water?Ex: Wtf No!Girl: Then I will never need you b*tch.
Damn girl! Are you fire detector?'Cause you are really f*cking loud and annoying'
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person.Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Me: U suck
Bully: Ur life sucks
Me: Well ur in my life so u must suck
guy1.. pisses u offyou... u know u arent good at singing, u arent good at dancing, but u are good at acting, acting like a little b*tch
If you stop telling lies about me.. I'll stop telling the truth about you.
i bet your mom was so let down when she got you instead of her period
Prison Cop: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas? Me: You said I got one call.
If you use the word "bae"Then expect a punch in the "fae"Coming from "mae"Have a good "dae"
Flight attendant: would you like some headphones?Me: yes please, and how did you know my name is phones?
Fat Girl: lol I hate the gym so muchGuy: Did you mean to put a 'h' there?
You say "Alcoholism". I say "Liver Crossfit".
Bully: Bitch!Me: Bitch is a Dog, Dog's Bark, Bark's on Trees, Trees are apart of nature, Nature's beautiful, Thanks for calling me beautiful!
"Bully points at ur shoes"Bully: FAKE KMART SHOES HAHAHAHAYou: at least my Kmart shoes are realer than ur one dollar crocs
*girl with 2 bIack eyes walks in*Cop: What happened?Her: I want my husband arrested!Cop: I asked what happened, you don't listen at all, do you?