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Hello guys this is a gay testIf you rate this kickass ur not gay, vice versa.I wanna c how many ppl r gay
My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal.So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me.
How fast can you guess these words?1._ _ _ k2._ _ndom3.d_ckAnswers:1. book2. random3.duckYou didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!
A beautiful woman walks into a doctor's office and the doctor is bowled off by how stunningly awesome she and his professionalism goes right through the window.He tells her to take off her pants and starts rubbing her thigh, he asks her do you know what I'm doing? Yes she said, checking for abnormalities. He tell her to take off he bra and starts rubbing her boobs,he asks her do you know what I'm doing? Yes, she said checking for cancer. He tells her to take of her underwear and starts having sex. He tells her do you know what I'm doing? She said "Yes getting AIDS
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?A Seatbelt
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "b*tch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello b*tches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
A dad sees his son swatting a honeybee. He says, "For that, no honey for a month. The next day, he sees his son killing a butterfly. He says, "For that no butter for a month." The next day, he sees his wife kill a cockroach. The son says, "Dad you want to tell her or should I?"
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
It's not rape if you jump on a cheerleader when she yells "Give me a D".
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still f*cking!"
Im not saying she's a slut, but she's been banged more times than the first pipe on Flappy Bird.
Some one asked me how people view lesbians in my country. Apparently 'Usually in HD' wasn't the answer they were looking for.
Me: Say "I am a man" after everything I say.Friend: Alright.Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.Friend: I am a man.Me: You decided to get drunk.Friend: I am a man.Me: You went to the bar.Friend: I am a man.Me: You found a hot chick there.Friend: I am a man.Me: You invited her to your house and she said yes.Friend: I am a man.Me: You both came into your room and had sex.Friend: I am a man.Me: Next morning you wake up.Friend: I am a man.Me: And she says...Friend: I am a man.
A husband and wife are trying to setup a new password for there computer. The husband puts "mypenis" and the wife starts laghing because the computer says "ERROR: NOT LONG ENOUGH"
That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer.Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."Rapist: "I was planning on it..."
After having failed his exam, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.Student: “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”Professor: “Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!”Student: “Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you to give me an “A” for the Exam.”Professor: “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”Student: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal?”Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an “A”, as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.He immediately answers: “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 17 Year old lover, which is logical but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an “A”, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”
I'm not saying she's a slut but she did get fired from the sperm bank, for drinking on the job.
My boy friend said if this gets 200 kick-ass votes... were gonna try anal. please don't vote. he's on Viagra.
When I was a kid, my dad sat me down and showed me pictures of why I should always wear a condom. Funny thing is, they were all just pictures of me.
