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Best One Liner Jokes This Year

Kickass this if your bored and you went on a joke website.

Lazy People Fact #5812672793
You were too lazy to read that number.

Ain't it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind your car.

I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this

Vote kickass if you're reading jokes instead of doing homework

U R 6 C I 1 2 4 Q
Rate kickass if you get it !

Roses are red
That part is true
But violets are purple
Not f*cking blue

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator.
I'm taking this shit to a whole new level.

why do midgets laugh while running through the yard?
The grass tickles their nuts

Whenever you get mad, just think of a t-rex trying to masturbate.

Kickass this if you think there should be a favorites section so we can laugh at our favorite jokes anytime.

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

The word "Boob" is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!

Kickass this if you like titties

Isn't it weird how when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.

Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to.

Daughter: Mommy, what's it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world ?
Mother: I don't know, ask your grandmother.

You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.

Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.

Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll.....or you're taking shit from some asshole.

One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

I named my hard drive "dat ass" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'.

As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought "Dogs are easily amused." Them I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.

I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

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