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I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
Lazy People Fact #5812672793You were too lazy to read that number.
Roses are redThat part is trueBut violets are purpleNot f*cking blue
Kickass this if you like titties
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy..so I got drunk.
Whoever said technology would replace all paper obviously hasn't tried wiping their but with an IPad.
like this kickass if your bored
When a two year old hands you their ringing toy phone, no matter how baddass you think you are, you answer it.
A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair... and a table.
The word "Boob" is the Perfect word. The B looks like a top view of them, the 2 Os look like a front view, and the b looks like a side view. perfectly engineered!
If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I hope they split us by music genre.
Daughter: Mommy, what's it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world ?Mother: I don't know, ask your grandmother.
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought "Dogs are easily amused." Them I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over
Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
Kickass this if your bored and you went on a joke website.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, If you throw it hard enough . . .
I don't always get asked out on a date. But when I do... It's on April 1st.
I'm like a really down to earth guy because you know... gravity.