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Kickass this if your bored and you went on a joke website.
Ain't it funny how the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind your car.
Kickass this if you think there should be a favorites section so we can laugh at our favorite jokes anytime.
Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll.....or you're taking shit from some asshole.
I walked into the bedroom and tripped on the wife's Bra. It was a booby trap
I think the Japanese flag is really a pie chart of how afraid they are of Godzilla.
Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.Then they call me ugly and poor.
Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees has obviously never sold weed.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a brighter day.
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
If a guy remembered your eye color after the first date you probably have small boobs
People think Cupid is a symbol for love. Personally, I find an arrow being shot through your heart by a flying baby very horrifying.
With great power comes great electricity bill
Saying you are dumped but we can still be friends is like saying the dog died but let's take it for a walk anyway.
It's amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
I want to die like my grandfather in his sleep, not like his screaming passengers
Last night I had a dream that I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
I made a HUGE mistake… I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub she looked at me and she instantly knew I've been lying to her for years.
Titanic is just one example of the ice bucket challenge going wrong...
I love long walks on the beach with my girlfriend. Until my LSD kicks out and I realize I'm dragging a blow up doll in the burger king parking lot.