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Make sure to give your side b*tch a pencil for Valentine's day so she knows she is #2.
Girl I'm wasted, but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be.
Baby I'll Treat You Like My Homework. I'll Slam You On The Table And Do You All Night.
They say we learn from our mistakes.Which is why I make as many as possible.I'll soon be a genius!
Guy: "Hey, you like Pokemon?"Girl: "Hell yes!"Guy: "Well, would you mind If I Squirtle your Jigglypuffs?"
My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
can I call you a Twinkie cause when I bite into you, you cream in my mouth
guy: there are 8 planets in the solar system, there will be 7 after i destroy uranus!