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A dog's erection looks exactly like lipstick, but it sure doesn't taste like it.
Wife: Are you jerking off in the bathtub? Me: I swear, hun, I was washing it and it just went off.
If her age is on the clock she's too young for the cock.
Q: What's the difference between a pimple and a peodefile?A: One waits 12 years to cum on your face.