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My Cousin Ronny was born with no eyelids, so the doctors had to use his foreskin to create some. They said he would be alright, he is just a little cockeyed!
I was born to be wild, but only till about 9:00pm or so.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
That awkward moment your boss catches you answering phones with a British accent when your bored..