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How we wake up I'm the morning:Brain: "Oh f*ck."Body: "Don't get up."Dick: "THIS IS SPARTAA!!!"
Wife- I saw in my dreams, you were buying me a diamond ringHusband- I saw your dad paying the bill
I still remember my grandfathers last words to me... stop shaking the ladder.
What do you call a magic owl?Hoo-Dini