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Can a woman make you a Millionaire???Yes, if your a Billionaire.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
Diet Day #1- I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diahrea does that mean one dude enjoys it
So, after beating the crap out of the nerdy kid in my class who always gets things right, I returned to the front of the classroom and resumed teaching.
When a woman says "what?" Its not because she didn't hear you. She's just giving you a chance to change what you said.
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
Did you know cats can jump higher than a house? This is largely due to the cats powerful hind legs and the fact houses cant jump.
What do you call a stuck-up criminal going down some stairs?.... A condescending con descending.
Police: George Michael, you're under arrest for illegal organ harvesting. Last Christmas, someone gave their heart!
Why do Scuba Divers lean backwards to dive in? Because if they leaned forward they'll still be in the boat
Wife: Honey? What do you think about my teeth?Husband: They remind me of stars...yellow and far apart.
Q: what happened when the toilet paper crossed the road?A: he got stuck in a crack!!!Q: what did he say when he got stuck in a crack?A: "IM SICK OF YOUR SHIT!!!!" Kick ass if you get it lol ????
Guy 1: Spell "IMAP" then say "Ness" Guy 2: I M A P Ness "I am a Penis"LEL
Toni: Copy meToni: Say tree tree tree tree treeJohnny: tree tree tree tree treeToni: what's the colour of a fire engine?Johnny: Red!Toni: I said copy me :/
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 b*tch slapped 9 :)
old mac donald had dyslexia... a o n e i
How to piss people offStep 1: Walk in a room.Congratulations you have officially pissed people off!
If a tree falls down in the forestDo the squirrels sleep sideways?
Stop with these circumcise jokes! What's the cut?