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I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me. It's not my fault they don't have Windows.
Can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in.
Told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, then stood her up. I just wanted her to know that we weren't working out.
My bank balance is like a midget in a marathon. It's running a little short.
Did you hear about the theme park ride made entirely out of Iron? It was a ferrous wheel.
what do you call a task force that smokes weed? a Joint Task Force
Why are ghosts encouraged to work at bars? They raise the spirits!
Oh My Goodness!! Guys, Rob is ROBIN the bird store!!!!