Search for a category
A text chat:Dad: You are the best son I could ever ask forMe: You're the best parent I could ask forDad: Woops that was meant for your brotherMe: Woops, that was meant for your wife
Damn girl are you a smoke detector cause you're annoying and won't shut the f*ck up.
Person at top of building: IM GONNA JUMPEveryone: NO DON'TMe: DO A FLIP
Teacher: How about one of you decides to teach one day? It's impossible teaching you idiots!Me: *stands up and walks to the front*Me: Class Dismissed.
Guy #1: WHAT ARE THOSE!Guy #2: Shoes you can't afford!Guy #1: Yeah, I can't afford to dig in a dumpster for those.
I believe in you! But I also believe in leprechauns, so don't feel too inspired.
Mad Person: KILL YOURSELF!Smart guy: If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQMad Person: ...................................
Bully: Bitch!Girl: Call me a Bitch again I dare you!Bully: Bitch!Girl: That's right Bitches do what there told...
guy1.. pisses u offyou... u know u arent good at singing, u arent good at dancing, but u are good at acting, acting like a little b*tch
Fat Girl: lol I hate the gym so muchGuy: Did you mean to put a 'h' there?
You say "Alcoholism". I say "Liver Crossfit".
Ex Girlfriend: You'll never find someone like meMe: That's the point
When black lives matter and Feminism becomes one group, thats when you know a noose finally has a meaning to you.
Ugly bully: You're the reason condoms existKid: You're the reason plastic surgery exists
Guy 1: This park looked fun on the brochure! But it's rubbish! Guy 2: Guess it wasn't like it seemed to be...Guy 1: Like your pen*s!!Guy 2: Yup...I thought it was gonna be cursed...But I was blessed.
Girl: so I just took a shit yesterday.Bully :and...Girl : oh sorry I just thought you wanted to know that I saw you in my toilet yesterday.Bully:umm...Girl: (whispers) piece of shit ..
Your name must be Richard because you look like a dick.
Kid: your forehead is bigger than my future Me: well your future must suck ass cuz my forehead ain't that big
Boy : please.. accept my loveGirl : why should I?Boy : because girl u got classGirl : no.. that's a lie.. I don'tBoy : in my eyes you doGirl : b*tch, youre blind
Max: Suck my dick!Me: There's nothing there so I don't know what you want me to suck!!!