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I told my girlfriend that my mom is old so she needs to speak slowly and loud. Then I told my mom my girlfriend is retarded. They have no idea!
When people won’t talk to me, it doesn’t bother me. When a dog won’t let me pet them, man, tha…Read More
Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?" No, we pee in the yard.