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My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
I am done trying to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
I think the Japanese flag is really a pie chart of how afraid they are of Godzilla.
Thanks, motion sensor restroom sinks, I only wanted to wash my hands for 0.0000251 seconds anyway.