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Don't think of yourself as an ugly person.Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
BULLY- Oh you wear a size XXL (crowd laughs)
KID- No that's the size of my condoms.
Kid: What a fail!Me: So was your moms birth control!Class: Ooo
Friend: Is that one of thoose ugly paintings that are worth a lot of money?Other Friend: No it's cal…Read More