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son: Iphone! * holding it*
daughter: Ipod! *holding it*
mom: Ipad! *holding it*
dad: IPAID!

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Kid: What a fail!Me: So was your moms birth control!Class: Ooo

Jerk: Go f*ck yourself!Me: *Looks apoplectic* Sorry but I don't have time. I've got a busy schedule,…Read More

Wife: "Do you know how many calories are in that beer?" Me: "Probably the same as the amount of f*ck…Read More

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