Funny Comeback

Jerk: Go f*ck yourself!
Me: *Looks apoplectic* Sorry but I don't have time. I've got a busy schedule, I'm meeting your mom at 12 and your sister in *checks watch* five minutes! Sorry, gotta go buy some extra condoms before I meet her, don't want to have another accident like your mom did with your dad! *Walks off*
Jerk:...