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Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once.
My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and stared at me for five mi…Read More
My vacuum cleaner broke. I put a Dallas Cowboys sticker on it, and now it sucks again.
I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice fro…Read More