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The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
People who say they suffer from constipation are full of shit.
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.All I did was take a day off.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Thank god for nipples. Without it, boobs would be pointless.
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
To the guy who invented Zero:
Thanks for nothing!
How does Moses make his tea?Hebrews it.
There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.My next crap could spell disaster.
I have a few jokes about unemployed peopleBut it doesn't matter none of them work
I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there.I guess I came too soon.
Enough with the cripple jokes!...I just can't stand them.
If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?