Search for a category

Post A Joke

Joke Categories

Loading...

Best Animal Jokes of All Time

Animal Joke

One day on a plane there were 100 bricks and one fell off. How many are left? 99
What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. put the giraffe in 3.close the fridge
What are the 4 steps to putting a rhino in the fridge? 1. open the fridge 2. take out the giraffe 3. put the rhino in. 4. close the fridge.
The animals were throwing a party and all the animals but one came. What was it? The rhino
A girl crossed a low bridge over crocodile infested water, but didn't die. Why? The crocodiles were at the party.
When she got to the other side she died though. Why?
A brick fell from a plane and hit her on the head

Animal Joke

Elephant asks a camel:''why do you have two boobs on your back?"
Camel says to Elephant:"Thats a funny question from someone with a dick on his face."
Elephant:"..."

Animal Joke

What Did The Buffalo Say To His Son When He Left For College?
Bison.

Animal Joke

Guy: what mouse walks on two legs?
guy #2: IDK
guy: mickey mouse, what duck walks on two legs?
guy #2: donald duck!
guy: all ducks dumbass

Animal Joke

You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. What do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

Animal Joke

An elephant goes to a camel and says why have you got a pair of tits on your back, the camel then replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

Animal Joke

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that tiny thing?

Animal Joke

Animal Facts
1. Hippo milk is pink.
2. If you put alcohol on a scorpion, it will sting itself to death.
3. Vampire bats are one of few mammals that will adopt an orphan our risk its own life to give food to a less fortunate roostmate.
4. Squirrels forget where they hide over half of their nuts.
5. Kittens sleep so much because they only release a special growth hormone while they sleep.
6. It is impossible for pigs to look up at the sky.
7. Sheep can survive two weeks buried in a snow drift.
8. A four foot long walrus penis bone sold for $8000 on ebay in 2007.
9. A whale penis is called a dork.
10. Elephants weigh less than a Blue Whale's tongue.

Animal Joke

Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack

Animal Joke

One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner. In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence. After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first. After thinking for a while, the bear says, "I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me." Next is the rabbit's turn, "I wish for a motorcycle helmet," he says. The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself. The bear then says, "I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me." The rabbit next says, "I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas." The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says, "You could have wished for money to get those two things!" He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog, "I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!" He smiles smugly. The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says, "I wish for this bear to be gay."

Animal Joke

You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
You :To get to the idiots house.
You : Knock, knock
Them: Who's there?
You: The chicken

Animal Joke

What is the cheapest meat you can buy?
Deer balls. There under a buck.

Animal Joke

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

Animal Joke

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute
for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick

Animal Joke

What sound does a horny toad make?
RUB IT, RUB IT

Animal Joke

If I was a dog, and you was a flower, I'd lift up my legs, and give you a shower.

Animal Joke

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

Animal Joke

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Animal Joke

what did the squirrel say to the prostitute when he saw the police?
quick grab my nuts !

Animal Joke

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
Because he doesn't want anyone to know that he's been screwing chickens.

Loading...